Marriage Guidelines

Parish Guidelines

TIMELINES

Congratulations!

Becoming engaged is a big step! All of us who work with you during the marriage preparation process are eager to help you during the coming months. We know that planning a wedding
can be a very hectic time for you. It is also a time that you will
learn a great deal about one another and your families. You may be wondering where to begin. Before you check out possible dates/times for reception facilities, it is important to see if the church building is available.

Give us a Call

If you or your family are registered parishioners, call Paula Nowicki, assistant to Fr. Brennan, (847-359-0042) to see if the date and time that you want is available. Because of the number of weddings that we have, it is wise to do this at least one year before the desired date. If you have questions regarding the laws of the Catholic church, please contact Dr. Jim Papandrea, Director of the Adult Faith Ministering Community (847) 359-0042.

Participation and Registration

In order for a wedding date and time to be reserved, the bride, groom or their family ought to be registered at Holy Family and
be a weekly participant at mass. People wishing to join the community must attend the Welcoming Process before they are considered registered.

Marriage Preparation Continuum

7 months to 1 year prior to wedding date - Rite of
Welcome Blessing
6 months prior – Sponsor Couple Sessions and “Celebration of the Journey” (scrutiny for engaged couples)
6 months prior - Initial Interview with Presider & Pre-Nuptial Questionnaire
3 to 4 months prior - Music Interview
1 to 2 months prior - Second Meeting with Presider to finalize Liturgy
1 to 3 months before wedding – Reconciliation Service for Engaged
Week of wedding - Wedding Rehearsal

CHECKLIST

Marriage Preparation Checklist

Reservation of your wedding date and payment of wedding fees:

$250 parishioner fee for 2 hours in the church
$575 non-pariohioner fee for 2 hours in the church
$150 marriage prep/administrative fees
$60 A/V fee

Biographical Form (completed at Orientation)
Newly Issued Baptismal Certificate
Confirmation Certificates
Mass or Ceremony
Wedding Liturgy and Music Outline

Bring to Wedding Rehearsal

Marriage License
Music Fee
Optional: Unity Wedding Candles & tapers/with holders-- clearly labeled with your name
Wedding Liturgy and Music Outline
Optional: Worship Aids (for your wedding guests)

Preparation PROCESS

Participation and Registration

In order for a wedding date and time to be reserved, the bride, groom or their family ought to be registered at Holy Family and be a weekly participant at mass. People wishing to join the community must attend the Welcoming Process before they are considered registered.

Wedding Fees

Before a date can be booked, the three fees listed under Marriage Preparation Checklist must be paid.

If you are not planning be married at Holy Family, but would like to utilize the parish's marriage preparation process, a fee of $100 must be paid..

The church fee is $250 for parishioners and $575 for non-parishioners and is due at bookingl. For music fees click here.

Checks should be made out to Holy Family Parish and sent to the attention of Paula Nowicki. All fees are non-refundable.

Previous Marriages

If one of you has been married before, you may be required to obtain a Church annulment. The Catholic Church recognizes the marriages of non-Catholics as valid. If your fiancée is not a Catholic, their previous marriage in another church or even a simple court ceremony may require a Catholic Church annulment or a declaration of nullity. To determine the validity of a previous marriage, call the pastor’s office. If an annulment is needed, you will be asked to make an appointment with the pastor to begin the annulment process. The granting of annulments generally takes at least one year in this Archdiocese. Holy Family’s Annulment Support Ministry will be available to answer any questions you have about the process and will support you through the annulment process.

Wedding Times

The time slots for weddings are:

Friday 5:00 pm
Saturday 10:30 am, 12:30 pm and 2:30 pm
Sunday 2:30 pm (No masses, only ceremonies from mid-May until after Labor Day)

Welcoming Rite, Dinner and Orientation

There are Welcoming Rites for the Engaged four times a year (January, April, July and October) at the 4:30 p.m. Liturgy. The engaged are given a special blessing during mass.

Immediately following mass, the engaged are invited to join us for a pizza dinner. At that time they will have the opportunity to meet other engaged couples as well as the parish staff that they will be working with. A sponsor couple will join them for an orientation that will follow dinner which includes a step by step explanation of the marriage prep process, helps for planning the wedding liturgy, music options, and tips on decorations and videographing. The FOCCUS Pre-marital Inventory will also be administered at the Orientation. FOCCUS is a tool used to determine a couple’s strengths as well as areas that need further discussion prior to the wedding.

Unitas Program

After you complete your initial interview, you will be assigned to a sponsor couple. Groups of 3 to 4 couples will meet for five weeks in the sponsor couple’s home. The sponsor couple will meet with the 3-4 couples as a group for educational sessions that deal with communication, conflict resolution, forgiveness and healing, finances, in-laws, sexuality, children and marriage as sacrament.

The Unitas program is the recommended program for Marriage Preparation at Holy Family

Meetings with the Presider

A first meeting with your presider will take place approximately six months before your marriage. At this time you will complete an official church document called a pre-nuptial questionnaire. Each of you will fill this out in the presence of a priest and swear that your answers are truthful. It is the official record of your wedding in this Church. This document attempts to discern if there are any reasons that you are not able to enter into a sacramental marriage in the eyes of the Catholic Church. In inter-faith marriage, the couple should have serious ongoing discussion regarding the faith of future children. When doing the pre-nuptial questionnaire, the Catholic party will be asked to sign a form or give verbal consent promising to do all in one’s power to pass on his or her faith to their children, have them baptized in the Church and raised in Catholic practices.
A second meeting with your presider should take place a few weeks before your wedding to finalize your wedding liturgy.

Wedding Rehearsals

Wedding Rehearsals are conducted by members of our rehearsal ministry community and arae assigned when you book your wedding. The scheduled times for rehearsal are:

Wednesday - 6:00 p.m.(for the Friday wedding)

Thursday - 5:45 p.m.(for the Saturday 12:30 wedding)
Friday - 6:30 p.m. (for the Saturday 2:30 wedding)
Friday - 7:30 pm.m (for the Sunday 2:30 or Saturday 10:30 weddings)

Choosing Cultural Traditions

Many cultural traditions have developed over the years. It is important that you choose what makes sense to you. Begin by understanding what the tradition means and how it developed. The parish manual given to each registered engaged couple provides additional detail on traditions permitted at Holy Family.

Bride's Room

A bride’s room is available for use during your wedding.

Audio-Visual Support

Many weddings have special technical support needs, requiring you to have a trained technician in the audio/visual loft during your wedding. This support is performed under the direction
of the Communications Director and is of benefit to you, as it will help ensure there are no audio-visual production problems on your special day. The fee for audio-visual support is $60, payable upon booking your wedding date.

Video Guidelines and Policies

Anyone videotaping the ceremony, whether they be a videographer you hire or a relative or friend, is not permitted to enter the audio/visual loft or place a camera in the loft without a Holy Family Audio Visual technician on hand. All outside videographers should coordinate with the audio-visual technician, should he or she wish to place a camera on the loft.

All videographers are responsible for bringing their own cameras, and equipment such as batteries, connections, adapters, and videocassettes. There is a designated position for placement of a camera
in church. This place is to the left of the choir area and right of the sanctuary. If you have questions about the audio-video portion of your wedding, please call Tom Meehan at (847) 359-0042.

Photos At Your Wedding

This day of celebration is so very important in your lives, and you will undoubtedly want pictures of your church ceremony. Holy Family has set up some guidelines that help maintain the sacredness of your ceremony.

Anyone taking pictures during the ceremony, whether they be a photographer hired by you or a relative or friend, must exercise discretion and respect at all times. During the ceremony, no photographer is allowed in the sanctuary area (on or above the steps across the front of the church. Instruct photographers to stay to the side of the altar area. Please also instruct your photographer to refrain from: stopping the bridal party walking in or out of the church, using spotlights, or running to capture a shot. Many times, another wedding or event at Holy Family will immediately follow your wedding. For this reason, we ask that you quickly organize your group for post-ceremony pictures, and suggest that your receiving line take place at your reception rather than at the church. This will allow you the time you need for pictures without inconveniencing the next event scheduled at
Holy Family.

It is important that you give a copy of these guidelines to your photographer and/or videotaping technician. They are intended to help make your wedding a spiritual, joyful and memorable occasion, while still meeting your need to get great pictures of your day!

DOCUMENTS

Religious Documents

The following documents are required from those planning to marry in the Catholic Church. Numbers 1 and 2 should be mailed to the Administrative Assistant to Adult Faith, four months
prior to your wedding day.

1. Baptismal Certificate:

Catholics: Six months before your wedding date, please request a newly issued baptismal certificate from the church in which you were baptized. To obtain a newly issued baptismal certificate, call or write the parishes at which each of you received this sacrament and ask them to mail you a newly issued certificate.

Non-Catholics: the original or a copy of the baptismal certificate from the church in which you were baptized - this does not have to be newly issued. We will make a copy of it for our records and return it to you.

2. A Confirmation Certificate.

This can be your original certificate. If you do not have verification of confirmation, contact the church where you were confirmed for a new certificate.

Civil Marriage License

A Civil Marriage License can be obtained at the locations listed below. They are open Monday through Friday, 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM and Saturday from 9:00 AM to 12:00 Noon.

Cook County Bldg
2121 Euclid Rm 238
Arlington Hts, IL
847-818-2000

Cook County Bldg
118 N. Clark St
Chicago, IL
312-443-5663

Skokie Court Bldg
5600 Old Orchard
Skokie, IL
857-470-7500

The engaged couple must both be present when applying for a marriage license. The cost of the license is $30.00 (cash) and is valid for sixty days. No signatures are required on this document.

You should bring this document with you to your wedding rehearsal and give it to the rehearsal minister. The priest or deacon will sign the marriage license - no other signatures are required - and we will send it to the Vital Statistics Department.

You may obtain a copy of your marriage license in person or by sending a letter of request. The cost is $13.00 for the first copy and $2.00 for each additional copy. If you are writing a letter, include the following:

Names of bride and groom (include bride's maiden name)
Church where you were married (Name, City, County)
Name of priest or deacon who married you
Address where the certificate can be sent
Check for proper amount made payable to: David Orr, County Clerk
Be sure to enclose a return address
Mail the letter and check to:
- David Orr
  Cook County Clerk
  Bureau of Vital Statistics
  P.O. Box 642570
  Chicago, IL 60664-2570

For more information, go to www.cookcountyclerk.com

Marriage Certificate

A Marriage Certificate will be presented to you by the priest after your wedding saying you have been married at Holy Family Community Parish. This is not a legal document.

LITURGICAL RITE
For Celebrating Marriage

As you prepare for your wedding celebration we encourage you
to take a few moments to reflect on and remember that you are preparing for a very special and holy event. An event, as cannon law reminds us, that has been "raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."

We also encourage you to remember that the wedding celebration is to be a reflection of your life and love for each other; blest by Christ, and to be witness to the church of God’s love and fidelity to all of creation. Workbook pages in the manual you will receive at registration have been designed to help you better understand your wedding celebration, plan it out, and help you make choices that will reflect your story as a couple. These pages will need to be filled out and brought to the second
meeting with the presiding minister.

Mass

It is a long-standing tradition that the exchange of consent occur in the context of a mass. Although it is very appropriate to have a wedding mass, it is by no means obligatory. There are certain circumstances where a wedding ceremony would be preferable, especially when inter-religious weddings take place. A ceremony can highlight the harmony of the couples relationship rather than point out the differences in their religious beliefs or practices. Questions about whether to have a mass or a ceremony can be directed to the presiding minister when you have your advance meeting with him. Please inform the presiding minister as soon as you decide if you are having a mass or a ceremony.

Wedding music

Basics

Contact the Associate Music Director 1-2 months before your wedding. There is a music consultation fee of $75.00 for all weddings, which is due on the first meeting. The balance, if any, is due on the rehearsal day. Payment may be left at the front office. (Note other possible fees below.)

All music must be approved by Music Director, even if that person is not doing the music at your wedding. The music (titles) should be submitted for her approval no later than one month prior to your wedding.

Additional musicians (provided/requested by the bride and groom, in addition to the Associate Music Director) must practice at least one time TOGETHER before the wedding. This rehearsal may take place on the day of the wedding. The Associate Music Director does not attend the
Wedding Rehearsal.

No musical equipment or instruments that are the property of Holy Family Parish may be used by outside musicians without permission and/or instruction by the Associate Music Director.

If for some reason, the wedding is canceled, you must notify the Associate Music Director NO LATER than two weeks before the scheduled wedding date.

Holy Family Associate Music Director (Fees)

$170.00 - Includes consultation and wedding. Additional fees
may be incurred. Confirm with the Associate Music Director.

$195.00 - If wedding is held on a HOLIDAY WEEKEND.

Possible Additional Fees

A list of additional singers and musicians may be secured
through the Associate Music Director. Fees vary for singers, violinists, flautists, trumpeters, etc. These are all independent contractors and are often booked well in advance. Keep this in mind when planning the music for your liturgy.

Wedding Music Repertoire

These songs are not exclusive to the categories - many can be used in other areas. (I) denotes an instrumental.

Prelude

About Strange Lands and People (I)
After All
Air (Watermusic) (I)
All Good Gifts
All I Ask of You (Phantom)
All of Our Lives
All Things Bright and Beautiful
And on This Day
Author of Love
By My Side
Canon in D (I)
Canticle of the Bride
Canticle of the Sun
Cherish the Treasure
Come and Journey With Me
Companions On the Journey
Covenant Hymn
Cristofori’s Dream (I)
Doubly Good to You
El Shaddai
Enough For Me
Evergreen
Father’s Eyes
Flesh of My Flesh
Gift of Love, The
God, A Woman and a Man
Hallowed Be Thy Name
He Has Chosen You For Me
He Is Exalted
Here We Are Now
Holy Ground
Hornpipe (Watermusic) (I)
Household of Faith
How Beautiful
How Good It Is
How Majestic Is Your Name
Hymne (I)
Ice Castles, Theme from (I)
I Believe
In His Time
Irish Blessing, Old
I Will Be Here
I Wish You Jesus
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring (I)
Longer
Lord of the Dance
Love Changes Everything
Love of the Lasting Kind
Love Will Be Our Home
Mighty Is Our God
More Precious Than Silver
Morning Has Broken
My Treasure
My Tribute
Nightfall (I)
Nobody Loves Me Like You Do
Nothing Without Love
Ode (I)
Only God Could Love You More
Our Love in Christ
Panis Angelicus (I) or sung
Parent’s Prayer
Perhaps Love
(The) Rose
Sabbath Prayer (Fiddler)
Sheep May Safely Graze (I)
Somewhere (West Side Story)
Somewhere in the World
Somewhere Out There
So They May Marry
Sunrise, Sunset (Fiddler)
Surely the Presence of the Lord
Symphony in D Minor (I)
Symphony of Love
This is the Day
‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
Together
True Friend
Wedding Prayer
Wedding Processional (I)
Wedding Song, The (Kenny G) (I)
Wedding Song (There is Love)
Where Dreams Are Born (I)
Wherever You Go
Wind Beneath My Wings
You Have Been Good
You’ll Never Walk Alone

Bridesmaids

Air (Watermusic)
Canon in D
Cristofori’s Dream
Hymn to Joy (Ode to Joy)
Hymn
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Processional
Trumpet Tune
Trumpet Voluntary
Where Dreams Are Born

Bride's Processional

Beginning Today sung
Bridal March (Traditional)
Canon in D
Canticle of the Bride sung
Canticle of the Sun - Haugen sung
Hornpipe (Watermusic)
Hymn to Joy/Ode to Joy
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Prince of Denmark’s March
Rondeau
This Is the Day - Brown sung
Trumpet Tune
Trumpet Voluntary
Wedding Processional (S.O.M.)

Responsorial Psalm

All the Ends of the Earth Ps. 98
Blest Are Those Ps. 128
Every Morning in Your Eyes Ps. 33
Forever I Will Sing Ps. 89
Happy Are They Ps. 84
I Have Loved You Ps. 24:3
I Lift Up My Soul Ps. 25
I Will Praise Your Name Ps. 145
Let All the Earth Ps. 66
Lord Let Us See Your Kindness Ps. 85
Lord Send Out Your Spirit Ps. 104
Lord You Have the Words Ps. 19
On Eagle’s Wings Ps. 91
Path of Life Ps. 16
Psalm 40
Proclaim to All the Nations Ps. 96
This is the Day - Fife Ps. 95/96
This is the Day - Joncas
We Praise You

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia (Traditional)
Alleluia (Hurd)
Alleluia (Chanted)
Celtic Alleluia
Lenten Gospel Acclamation

Unity Candle (Candle lighting)

All of Our Lives
And On This Day
Author of Love
Bridal Prayer
Cherish the Treasure
Doubly Good to You
Flesh of My Flesh
Gift of Love, The
He Has Chosen You For Me
Here We Are Now
Household of Faith
I Will Be Here
I Have Loved You
I Wish You Jesus
Like a Seal On Your Heart
Make Us One
My Treasure
One Hand, One Heart
Only God Could Love You More
So They May Marry
Symphony of Love
This is the Day (Brown)
Two Candles
Wedding Prayer
When Love is Found
Wherever You Go
You’ll Never Walk Alone

Presentation of Gifts

(Instrumental suggested-Time is very short)
All That We Have
Give Thanks
Holy Ground
Hymn (I)
Ode (I)
Surely the Presence of the Lord
Take, Lord, Receive
We Are Many Parts
Wedding Song, The (Kenny G) (I)

Updated on July 24, 2008